Monday, February 26, 2007

Game Set Match

Well boys, I made the mistake we always do. I was talking to a luscious young female yesterday, who was giving me compliments about this column. Guys you know how this goes. Girl Says, "I love what you've been doing, keep it up" and you're feeling invincible like you can tackle anything, so you say " Thanks if you have any suggestions just let me know" and they do give you a suggestion. And it's for the hardest fucking thing you can imagine.

Think advanced calculus on crack, while you're blindfolded and being chased by a bear. I've been writing on how to get past a cock blocking ugmo, and how Sex and the City can get some sex in your city, and she says, "This is some really funny stuff, now what's your view point on commitment".

What's
Your
Viewpoint
On
COMMITMENT

Thanks a bunch Sweetheart. This is exactly what I needed right now. And some other insane rambling that makes you ladies say, "See guys are all commitment phobic asses not worth our time". Truth be told I think commitment is a fantastic idea in theory. I just don't think that I am ready for it at the moment, and neither are most people our age. And here's why:

I have committed to too much already

By the age of 23 I have had to choose the career I was meant to do for the rest of my life, I have gotten a lodging I'm responsible to live in for a set period of time. I am someones godfather, someone Else's father figure, and all the while I still need to figure out if I'm a big boy yet or not. I have this awkward feeling of being a kid playing in Daddy's suit. Most people our age have had to make adult choices while being treated like children, and it's made that for the most part, we just want to cut loose.

That's why most people that are in an entry level to a large corporation (such as myself) also know 5 different types of condoms, at least 10 different types of beer, can vividly recount one random hook-up story, and know what a gravity bong is.

How can I find someone who hasn't found themselves yet

While I agree with most people that say we are at 8 who we'll be at 80, it's also true that i am mentally much different than how I was even 3 short years ago. On a personal note at 18 I met the love of my life, the only girl I can ever say I really loved, and the person I was so certain was going to be the mother of my children that we had already named them and I dreamt of them at night. We're not together anymore, because as she found herself as a person she found out that she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. And while that was the single worst day of my life (so bad that it had to happen twice), I wouldn't change it for a second, nor would I change any thing that has happened since. Since being with her I developed a fantastic sense of who I am, and what I want with life. And every person I have been with since has also added to my growth. So I realized that by committing so early on in life, i may have been robbing myself of important life lessons.


Back in my day....

We live in a fantastic day and age, one where religious oppression has been lifted for the most part. An age where women are fully coming into their own as the true equals they have always been but were never allowed to become. An age where women assert themselves mentally physically and spiritually. This is a beautiful thing...at 30. A 30 year old woman is professional, assertive, sexually confident, and self-confident. All of this happens in the cauldron of her twenties though, where she is often neurotic, deviant, has the numbers 69 or the word gurl in her msn name, and has a tattoo somewhere on her lower back (known as a tramp stamp by some, I simply find it to be a beautiful form a freaky expression). In short they often aren't the type to bring home to mom, but are definitely the type to bring home.

Can the Boyz come over to play Mom...I mean honey...fuck it i mean Mom!

I have a few friends who have had the same girlfriend for a long period of time. I have two friends who are currently engaged, or at least they were the last time I spoke to them. Last year. Because you see, long term daters don't hang out with their single buddies, their girlfriends won't allow them to (and honestly, with good reason, because if I'm up, I'm up for trouble). LTR friends have couple friends, that do couple things, like picking for apples, or picking out china sets for their new apartment (which will be decorated tastefully and will have drapes that match the pot pourri strewn about). I don't get out of bed before noon on weekends because I am usually too hungover/I just got to bed at 9am leave me the fuck alone. And while I am moving out alone into my own apartment for the first time, not only do I not have anything to go into it, I don't plan on even getting a couch until after I have a big screen TV (which will be right away because i have sick credit at future shop). All my female friends think I'm crazy, none of my Boyz have had a single objection to my plan, other than "You had better man up and get the HDTV, cuz your Xbox has a setting for that". What a different world we live in.

So basically that's my viewpoint on commitment, when I meet the perfect girl for me, that likes to read books and play xbox, likes romantic nights in, and late nights out in seedy bars. A girl who can kiss my little Juju (my God Daughter and current full-time girly) with a loving Madonna on the rocks smile, while doing the craziest things to me the night before. A girl who appreciates the classics, Aristotle & Socrates, as well as Harold & Kumar. Once i find that that girl, I'll settle down. Until then


Cheers, first rounds on...anyone but me!


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This luscious young female is very satisfied with today's blog...and beware...I might suggest another compelling subject real soon ;)

Anonymous said...

i notice how its all about how what your perfect girl can do for u, but not what u can do for her... and THAT is what is wrong with men and why they are commitment jerks. it's all about what your "juju"!

Anonymous said...

Wow, intense commentary going on. I totally think whoever wrote that...ROCK ON!! I think women focus too much on pleasing their men. Screw it. If men want women to be more open to their sexuality, it shouldn't be so one sided. However you also aren't discussing how you would react in a commited situation, and are being honest about it. But maybe guys should start thinking more about what they can offer, most women have commitment down, so when discussing this, guys need to catch up.