People that should be shot in the face with Phirranas

My shit is crazy right now. Work decided to pick up right around the time that I was moving, becoming more serious with Girly, and my nuclear family was having a nuclear meltdown. Allow me to postpone the funny for a bit so that I could rant about what (or more clearly who) has been pissing me off.


The following is a list of people who should be shot...out of a cannon...into another cannon, and then shot at a wall of bricks, broken glass and salt.

Recidivist daters

The guy was a dickface every other time you were together, and she made your life a living hell for almost the entire time you were together. Why the fuck do you think this time will be any better. I mean sure he just got out of rehab, and fine she is technically off parole, but I mean my fucking god, is it that difficult to find new mistakes to make that it is absolutely necessary to repeat the old ones. These people should be flayed slowly with a rusted spoon

14 year old girls

True, were we to destroy all of these retards our future on this planet would be somewhat limited, but with the way they speak, is this such a bad thing? I had the pleasure of sitting in front of two of these blissfully ignorant creatures this morning on the bus. A culture that has told them they were ugly on the outside since their birth, has finally made them ugly on the inside as well. They spent the entire busride reading through a celebrity gossip magazine, insulting every dress, haristyle, and skintone they saw. And I swear to Christ when one of them made a slightly droll comment, the other (and I promise I am not making this up) responded LOL. This was a real time conversation, and this fucktard used an instant message slang term. Can we not do the planet a favour and drown these people in the shallow gene pool they came from?

People named Chad

I just think this is an awful name. While we're at it, let's take a quick minute to hit people named, Tucker, Lance, Chester, Scooter, Cooter, JC, JT, JM (actually anyone who refers to themself as initials) with a large plank that has a nail in it. While we're at it let's give a plasma bath to anyone who names their kid Junior, and an acid shower to grown men who refer to their father as "My Daddy". We'll need a couple of Tony's a Vinnie, and maybe a Mike or two, but we can definitely take these people out. Fuck Tucker; Tucker Sucks!!!

Stupid Fucking NickNames

Anyone who allows themselves to be referred to as Teddy, Fuzzy, or Pookie, and any other nick name that makes reference to a bear, should be made to fist fight a Kodiak bear wearing boxing gloves made out of steak. If you can take out 1500 pounds of nature's fury, I'll call you Fuzzy. While we're at it, some of these dickwads above (specifically the Chester's of the world) try and spruce up their name to sound less gay. Chaz is not a suitable replacement for Chester, unless you're Chaz Palmieri, in which case you can do whatever you want.

This is all for now, but I'm sure to be pissed off again in a bit.

Cheer's first round's on...anyone but me! Try fuzzy over there, he doesn't have anymore hands, but he still has a tab at the bar.