A Stroke of Genius...75% of the time, it works everytime

Hey hey!

So with the exception of a few little coughs and random liquids secreting on occasion, I'd say I have kicked the shit out of this cold, and managed to squeeze a 4 day work week out of it. Not bad all things considered. Also for the time being, I am back on my writing schedule, so hopefully you guys won't have to wait too long to see the newest installments (I am really hoping I don't black out this weekend so I have a super sick St-Patties day story to tell you guys). If Ronnie' s theory pans out, "a few people will join later in the evening, but the real soldiers will be getting fucked up all day". Here's hoping big guy, here's hoping.

Now with all this alcohol impairing our judgements, not to mention all the egging on that will be occurring, as well as the affirmations that "Nah dude it ain't beer goggles, she's totally hot bro...go Hit That!" coming from the guy who is so passed out he thought you were talking about the pole, and not the chick dancing on it.

Now odds are you're better off with the pole, but it has been a while (almost forty minutes for me bro!) and you're pretty liquored up, so this chick is probably looking really hot. How can you tell if you really should bring this chick home? You need a Stroke of Genius.


It's scientifically proven that guys are better at opening jars than women (look it up in the official South Shore Journal of I told you so). This same study proves that we are completely unable to make an informed decision 99% of the time. This is simply because as 20 somethings in world that is being bombarded with sexual innuendo, sexual allusions, and sometimes just plain sex (can you believe that you can find websites that show videos of people having sex on the Internet? For Free? Shocking I know, it's true, if you want to check for yourself look...anywhere) men are usually walking around in a state of such arousal that they are absolutely incapable of completely rational thought.

There is a remedy however. At the point of release, a man's thinking is so clear that he may actually be able to solve any problem. It is theorized that in these moments such monumental inventions such as the Fireworks, TNT, and basically anything in the form of a stick involving a cool explosion, were invented. This moment of clarity is referred to as a Stroke of Genius, and it is your gateway to a safe hookup, that you can brag about tomorrow.

The premise is that you see the Questionable Honey in Question. You are all hot, bothered, and inebriated, and you're looking for love in as many wrong places as she'll let you explore. Odds are you have spotted her at the beginning of the night (it doesn't matter that you're smashed. You started at noon, and that's a completely separate problem). It is now time for you to go consult your inner Einstein. Go to the men's room, and shake hands with your "oldest friend". Once you're done with that (I understand that there's a lot of pressure what with the bathroom being full, but never let it be said that you're not a clutch performer), ask yourself again, "Do I want to go anywhere near this woman?" If the answers still yes, then go get her Tiger! A special added bonus to this is that you'll be out of commission for a little bit (everyone has a different rate of recovery but you've got at least 10 solid minutes) where you can get to know her, or at least not jump all over her so she'll either A) think you're a nice guy and put out easier or B) will make her feel self conscious so she puts out easier (a bit of alcohol facilitates both. There's a reason why it is called a social lubricant).

So there you have it Gents, the Stroke of Genius, it might not help you get laid, but it will help you get laid better. And so when you get back from the bathroom feeling smarter by the millilitre, you'll be able to hear me yell clearly from the back of the bar

Cheers! First round's on...anyone but me!