If you treat them like dirt, they will stick to you like mud...otherwise known as why nice guys finish last. I was talking to my friend Pat, and as always lately, the subject of my column came up. Be it someone wondering what this is all about, or screaming at me that I haven't posted yet. Either way I seem to have captured some hearts and minds, and trust me, I am happy about that.
I was talking to Pat, and he mentioned to me something that had been on his mind for a while. He told me, "Toine, why don't you talk about how nice guys finish last" Now this was something that perplexed me to no end. I have spent the better part of the last few days thinking about this very phenomenon. You see, I think of myself as a pretty nice guy, but I am in no way shape or form finishing last. I might not be first, but I can't think of a single area of life where I am not satisfied with how things are going.
In order to write well, one must perform a bit of research, and so I embarked on a quest of sorts to work this nice guy conundrum out. The first question actually provided many answers. When I asked around to a few nice guys, the only area they seemed to be lacking in was their careers and with the ladies. At this stage of the game, it is too early for us to consider ourselves failures in business (but based on my natural predilection towards slacking off, I'd say I'm halfway there), so these "Nice Guys" must only be focused on the lack of females they're getting. That doesn't seem too nice to me at all.
When I spoke to one of my female friends (the best source for information on why some guys strike out), I found a precious little nugget of knowledge. Nice guys don't finish last. Her words exactly were "arrogant assholes, or whiny pussies finish last". How can you not fall in love with a girl who could make a sailor blush?
So boys, if you think you're nice, you're not, because girls like nice guys. Here are the reasons you're finishing last.
You're arrogant
When you were a little boy, you were a bit quicker than everyone else at the sandbox, and parents seemed to think this was a notable achievement. You did however get your teeth kicked in by the big dumber kids, who probably would have been friends with you if you weren't too busy telling them how much better you were than them. Apparently getting your ass handed to you at 7 hasn't sunk in yet, so you still spend most of your time telling people (and now possible lust interests) how much better you are than everyone, simply because you used to be smart. If you were still smart...you would have gotten a clue by now. But you didn't and so the only ass that will ever be handed to you, will be your own.
You're a pussy
You're a gentleman, that's what your mother says. You give women their space, and allow them to see you for the good person you are. They'll come to you eventually right? How's that been working for you? Not so great. That's because you're not as good as you think. You just started a job where you don't wear a name tag, or you are still wearing that name tag (minimum wage does not have the same drawing power it did during the great depression). You still live with your parents, and as much space as your mom and pops give you, and how your basement is "basically like an apartment just without a kitchen, or a bathroom", and how people could sleep over as much as they want "as long as it's during the weekend" odds are, girls just need a bit of prodding to see that gem that you think you are. That's why God invented sweet talking. And the fact that women fall for it, is proof that God is a man.
Fortune favors the bold. In order to gain anything in life, you need to get out and go for it. These sound like corny after school special maxims, but in the end it's true. You might be a nice guy, but if you don't show girls a reason to want you, they won't. And if all you show them is sweet, nice and non-threatening, all they'll want is to be your friend. Friends are nice...lovers are mean, in a nice way. It might sound crazy but if I was wrong, then the concepts of rough sex, and songs like "Hurt so good" wouldn't exist
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5 comments:
I couldn't agree more, the fact is the only reason you need to say nice guys finish last is if you are being an ass to someone whom you beat out in anything underhandedly or you in fact are making excuses for your own inadequacies in either event you are being an idiot. If you lose who says you were suppose to win take it in stride and have some humility, and if you win why be an ass just realize that to win someone might have to lose.
Not smart enough to get a clue, seriously clever you crazy son of B
Well Nikko, I've gotta say I hesitated before posting this seeing as it really isn't constructive.
It IS funny though, and since that's half the point of this blog, I decided to go for it.
Are you on crack? Or were you when you wrote that comment? What kind of self-respecting jackass would point and say "Nice guys finish last" after winning in an underhanded way? Somebody with an intellect capable of thinking that up wouldn't be smart enough to be underhanded.
Don't take that personally, I actually just meant to ask if you were on crack since you're not making sense...the rest just followed naturally.
Let me start by saying that the whole "Nice guys finish last" term is totall BS. A women doesnt end things with someone because they were overly nice. And the guys that sit there and complain about not having a date or their girlfriends breaking up with them because theyre the "nice guy" or just the friend, never the boyfriend is just an excuse they can tell themselves and others to gain sympathy. Those who claim to be the "nice guy" are just pathetic, admit! Theyre just feeling sorry for themselves because they dont want to admit that maybe, just maybe, there could be something wrong with them that that particualr girl wasnt that fond of... so quit complaing and feeling sorry for yourslef and move!
My thoughts exactly, thank you for your point of view Jess
girls like nice boys. girls dont like jerks. its the truth, i swear.
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