When I first started writing this thing, it was all about hooking up and bagging chicks. A bit into it I found one that once bagged and tagged I couldn't follow my own "Catch and Release" philosophy. So this is just to say that while I have no moral quandary with fucking around (as an idea), I am now completely incapable of it. I found something that transcends my previous actions. No worries to those still in the game, play hard play strong, balls to the wall, and get those trophies, but to those who have that one girl that they say changed everything...I completely fucking understand.
When you first find out a girl is into you (if it is not just some random pickup), odds are you're finding it out from a friend. That friend is like "Bro she's totally into you", so whatever, you're cool right, just grab her number and give her a shout. But you're not cool. Whenever you meet a girl you think has some potential you're the same little punk who had trouble meeting the pretty girl's eye in high school. So you hang onto her number for a week or two before calling her, and you talk and talk, and you say, "We should hang out sometime" to which she responds,
"I'd like that".
Game over, you're fucking floored, three little words and all of a sudden you forget that you need air to live. But you go out, and if you're able to form words that she likes, maybe you can keep hanging out. At this point you talk daily, it seems like a day without her voice is like the sun hasn't risen yet (and I know you're young, but if you had to choose between her and the sun, you'd be one nocturnal son of a gun-Gym School Heroes). Whatever the time line, you'll come to the second round of torture (but the good kind)
I've been thinking about you
You hear this and all of a sudden you've hit a new high, but you've also hit your first low without realizing it, because all of a sudden I'd like that means nothing to you. But who cares right? you have I've been thinking about you so you're flying, but it gets better/worse
I think I'm in love with you
And all of a sudden every word you've ever heard thus far no longer means shit. You entire universe is imploding in the heat of those words, and it's not even certainty, she only thinks it. Of course once the ground is safe, she will stop thinking, and know, and then if she ever says she thinks again, it'll be a fucking insult.
The craziest thing about all of these words is that they meant so much at the time, and mean nothing once the next level is reached. It's really sad, because I think this is why most relationships don't work, because we give too much power to some thoughts, and not enough to others. Love is great, but it's not enough, sometimes she has to be thinking about you, other times she's gotta just think she's falling in love with you again, and sometimes she's just gotta like it. It doesn't even matter what it is, whether it is a movie, a coffee, some drinks, or a marriage proposal, if the answer is "I'd like that" you'll really like it.
Cheer's first round's on...anyone else but me...I'd like that
(Thanks to JM for the original idea)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Ok, This could be from a lack of coffee at this ungodly hour of 10:30, but huh? There must be something i'm missing cause i really don't get it...Help??
-Jenn
The basic premise of this artice was that people often get swept up with the evolution of their relationships and forget that the love started small, and by neglecting the small things the relationship suffers.
Basically it's saying the little things matter.
I agree entirely, it almost makes you want to stop the relationship from evolving because you're so happy with "I'd like that" and you know that when it gets to "I think I'm in love with you" then "I'd like that" won't matter anymore....
My suggestion for your next article which is sooo late btw is the other side of this....why not just stay with "I"d like that" forever? What does "I think I'm in love with you" really have to offer anyways?
aaaaaaaaaaand go
Sticking with "I'd like that" would stop the relationship from evolving.
But focusing so much on the words and on upping the stakes seems to be an attempt to desperately hold on to the feeling of falling in love. There's a difference between falling in love and being in love.
At a certain point, the words do loose their meaning. Relationships get comfortable. It's their nature. A lot of people have a hard time with this and are afraid things will get boring. So they tend to get wrapped up in words in a desperate attempt to hold on to the drama.
So many people thrive on that beginning of a relationship. Its classic that people avoid commitment because they enjoy that thrill of a "new" relationship. They enjoy the falling feeling but once it gets comfortable they get bored and want out. I'm one of them.
I suppose my question that I'd like to see 'toine discuss is why bother letting the relationship evolve...whats there to gain? Why not just stay at that "falling" stage where "I'd like that" makes you think the world is a great place. Shouldn't that be good enough?
allison,
very interesting. I think a lot of people feel this way. I'd like to see Toine write about that too. I don't actually know you Toine... But have you been in a long term relationship before?
I personally love the "comfortable" stage of a relationship. It doesn't need to be boring. With the right person it can actually be pretty incredible. It's just different from the initial "falling" stage. But it has its merits. There's something to be said about comfort and support and intellectual evolution.
Post a Comment